People can have their minds set against you, your brand, your organisation or your message for a variety of reasons. One of the four main catalysts for an anti-mindset is belonging to a group, embracing things that fit within that group and staunchly rejecting the actions and behaviours that exist outside of it.

Belonging as a catalyst for the opposition is a large category spanning the extremes of conspiracy theory to milder versions of resistance to mainstream behaviour and opinions.

We use the term belonging to describe this catalyst because it is about who people identify with. People can find themselves aligning with a group on one issue and, because they enjoy the sense of belonging, they adopt the groups’ views on a raft of other issues. The result is that they set their mind against you based entirely on the group's shared beliefs. 

The catalyst can include law changes, requirements to follow rules, and receiving punishments, especially if that involves some level of ostracization or exclusion. 

Human factors in belonging

The human factors fall into two broad categories. Firstly, feelings of alienation. This happens when people are made to feel they are judged to be wrong or non-conforming. Alienation is a significant source of stress, as you would expect from a social species. Being left out puts you at risk and, as a result, is likely to engender feelings of fear and abandonment

The second factor, which is related closely to the first, is a lack of control. Humans are hardwired to feel uncomfortable when we do not have control over events, choices or behaviour. If we feel we are controlled by events or other people we tend to resist, even if the controlling force is benign.

Hurdles to overcome

Of the four catalysts, these human factors are perhaps the hardest to overcome

If someone has been embraced by groups who have welcomed them and created a sense of belonging, you are not just trying to change their mind alone, because they have taken on the group mind. That means they have other people supporting them in setting their mind against you.

The other hurdle is that you want them to do something which, by definition, means you are taking control, not them. It does not make any difference that you are acting in their best interest because the focus is not on the outcome, it is on the input – the control of their behaviour or decision-making.

Strategies for changing minds

The core principles of how to change minds are strongly relevant here.

Arguing with someone who feels excluded and ostracised will further entrench their views. Putting evidence in front of someone who values the sense of belonging they get from their group threatens them with alienation.

So what do we need to do? Firstly, we must listen to them without judgement because they are especially sensitive to you confirming that they are wrong, increasing their alienation. Listening can include asking about experiences but not about evidence.

We then need to find something we do agree upon. Perhaps we value family or we share a value for our city/town/community. Finding one thing you agree upon gives you the first building block for a conversation.

Perhaps the hardest thing is to accept the change that you get.

This can be tough – but it is necessary to move forward productively. If you have moved the dial by any degree, that is a success in and of itself.

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